Like looking back and seeing your footprints in the sand is sometimes the only way to see where you’ve been, looking back is sometimes the only way you realise you were broken.
There is a danger of course, to look back, see the brokenness and judge it as being bad. But that would be wrong. In this case, I look back and see good times. Times where I was challenged. Times where I was strengthened through the difficulties I was facing. Strengthened through the constraints of a situation that forced me to assess the what-nexts and the then-whats and the but-thens.
With a new perspective, and the ability to turn around and metaphorically “look back”, I can now see that it was a time of brokenness, where I questioned if my judgements, the judgements that I had confidently made in the past, would indeed pass close scrutiny. But again, not a bad time.
I wonder, without this time of brokenness, would I feel so “whole” at this moment? Is this present feeling of completeness only possible because when I look back I can see so clearly the times where parts were missing? Is it the contrast of the then, to the now, that amplifies this feeling. Or maybe even produces it!
It brings me back yet again to the principle of balance that is so important for me. Yet another case of knowing the light is bright because we have fumbled in the darkness.
So I will enjoy the light. Now, being in the light, I can recognise the darkness of my recent past. It is neither good, nor bad. Without one I cannot have the other.
Broken, but not bad.